we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
