Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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