Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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