Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
