AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
