I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
