they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
