...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
