i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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