but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
farters have to be the big spoon...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
