Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
