I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
