i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
