i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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