she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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