I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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