He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
