i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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