what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
