I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My pussy is not your playground.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
