Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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