You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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