I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
