so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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