hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
