No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
