sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
