I molested 6 butterflies tonight
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Randomize
