here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
