Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
