I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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