The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
