Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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