C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
