No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
