dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
