My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
