hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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