i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
