We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
did you just send me my own nude
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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