I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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