Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
