sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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