The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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