$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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