Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Randomize
