After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
