she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
