I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
