im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
